I have been thinking a lot about success in life

I have been thinking a lot about success in life…what does it mean? How does one become successful with a sense of achievement?  Why do some of us become successful and achieve some significant goals while many others don’t?  Does luck come into the equation with some people who seem to be luckier than others?  I have realised that some answers to the above come back to ActionCOACH’s formula for success in life namely:

BE X DO = HAVE

Who do I need to BE and what do I need to DO to HAVE the relationships/life/business I want?  Let us take a closer look at all 3 of the above:

‘BE’ – Relates to how one sees oneself. Own sense of ‘be’-ing. One’s inner mindset, dialogue and thoughts on one’s identity as a person or business owner. The inner belief about what one thinks one is capable of in business and all areas of life.  It is sometimes necessary to challenge our sense or identity of being. This can be done by a challenge to oneself to do something out of the ordinary e.g. book a skydiving session, run a first half marathon, commit to reading a book a week or break a record in sales…?
Human nature is about the age-old saying ‘seeing is believing’. Therefore if we challenge ourselves beyond our comfort zone, we get a wonderful, new sense of ‘I can really do this’…how amazing….what else can I achieve should I decide and commit to it?
Looking at an example in history is Roger Banister, in 1954 being the very first person to officially run the mile in under 4 minutes! Once he proved it could be done, many others have since run the mile in under 4 minutes! But there had to be a first person to prove it can be done.

Coach’s tip:
Check your current beliefs about who you think you are and what you think you are capable of. Challenge these thoughts by making some decisions and committing to them…you might be pleasantly surprised!

‘DO’ – Relates to one’s decisions, behaviour and actions to achieve certain goals.

Thoughts x Habits x Actions = Results

Reflecting on past results in business and life, ask yourself if you are pleased with the outcomes.  If not, then you need to make certain changes to your thoughts, habits & behaviour.  Breaking the pattern of old habits and routines to make way for new habits or patterns of behaviour.  Implementing the Breaking-the-chain method (see YouTube videos by Jim Kwik) means implementing a chain of small steps to create a lasting behaviour change. Research has shown that changed behaviour becomes a habit around 66 days.

This method works well for two reasons:
One is that when we achieve a goal our bodies secrete a hormone called dopamine, the ‘feel good’ hormone. This in turn again stimulates the brain to want to repeat the pattern.
Two is our human sense of loss aversion. We are motivated more about what we stand to lose than what we gain by achieving a goal.

Coach’s tip:
Use a calendar and mark all the days of successful sticking to a new habit by  ’x’. Looking at the long chain of ‘x’-‘s one tends to not want to ‘break the chain’ and committing to the new habit or behaviour seems easier.
Making use of certain apps on our phones can also assist with creating new habits, e.g. Habitca, Momentum or Chains.

‘HAVE’ – These are the desired future results, outcomes or goals we set for ourselves in our business and life.
Reflect on one’s current status in the following 7 areas of one’s life and clearly define a desired future outcome or goal:

Financial
Spiritual
Mentally
Family
Vocational
Physical health & fitness
Social

To ‘HAVE’ the desired future outcome or goal, who does one need to BE and what does one have to DO to achieve the desired future outcome or goal?

Coach’s Tip:
Clearly define SMART GOALS (specific/measurable/achievable/realistic & timeframe) for the next 1, 3 and 5 years.  Then decide on how important these goals are. What do you stand to gain or more importantly stand to lose by not achieving set goals?  Then commit with discipline to the necessary new habits, routines and actions to achieve these goals. 
Look back at past failures and implement the idea of ‘failing forward’…learn from the past, adjust and move on!

Final thought for the day
“Our thoughts control our destiny… I think and therefore I am.
If you can control your inner thoughts, you can control your actions and the reality of your life!”
Stephen Covey – 8th Habit From effectiveness to greatness

In closing, success is deeply personal…decide what your yardstick for success is. Create your habits for future success.  Stick to these new habits with discipline and resilience…

…or don’t!

It is up to YOU!